'Upgraded' Atanu Das finds joy in return to elite stage

“Jab aag lagta hai na, tabhi rocket chalta hai (the rocket moves only after the fire is lit)," Atanu Das says with a soft chuckle.

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A disappointing Tokyo Olympics in late 2021 set ablaze a smog of gloom around the ace Indian archer, which thickened due to his failure to find a spot in the national setup last year. The rocket enkindled with his comeback to the Indian recurve team, Das landed at the Archery World Cup Stage 1 in Antalya to return with a team silver and confidence in an "upgraded version" of himself.

From winning an individual gold in the World Cup in 2021 (Guatemala City, Stage 1) to not doing well enough in the national trials for the right to compete in any of them last year, the slide had been steep for the 31-year-old. Understandably, he was brimming with excitement “from the time I was leaving for the airport” to head to Antalya.

“I thought, finally, I am going to compete at that stage again. I can't tell you how much I missed it," Das said. "It is why I enjoyed it more. I carried certain expectations, but once I started competing, all I could feel was the sense of enjoyment of being there again.”

Das was completely devoid of that feeling after the Tokyo Olympics. A third-round loss in the individual event, after getting past 2012 Games individual medallist Oh Jin-hyek of Korea, "thoda jyada hi heavy tha (was a bit too difficult to take)". A two-month break, which Das spent mostly travelling around, helped. Below-par outings in last year's trials that kept him out of the team—Das finished outside the top eight in the March trials for Asian Games and World Cups—did not.

“I knew the kind of preparation I had done going into Tokyo. And no matter how it comes, even if after competing well, a defeat is a defeat. I didn't want to tell myself again, ki chalo, I at least played well. I spent a lot of hours and days thinking about these things. I was almost slipping into a state of depression with these constant thoughts," Das said.

“Until one day, when I said: bhad mein gaya yeh sab sochna. That day onwards, I chose to start afresh. I just kept it simple and got back to doing what I do well. I wanted to return to the stage I know I belong."

It would come through an upgradation process in his training—Das trained in different places (Shillong, Pune, Kolkata, etc) over the last year “in every weather, and for maximum output”—and, more importantly, his mentality.

“Especially, log kya kahenge ya kya sochenge (what will people say or think). I realised I should not be bothered about what people are talking about me, who is supporting me, who is not, who is with me, who is not. Now I've stopped thinking about all this. When you're going through a rough patch, people don't understand what goes behind that. They just think: down ho gaya, khatam ho gaya (he is down, he is done). That brings in a lot of negativity with it. I realised I should not be affected by such people and their thoughts. I will do what I have do do, anyhow. I brought that attitude change in me, mentally upgraded myself," Das said.

Even though he lost in the fourth round in the individual event, Das said he felt good about his return to the elite; alongside Tarundeep Rai and Dhiraj Bommadevara, the Indian team lost a close shoot-off to China in the final for silver. Like the National Games gold last year, it's another little shot of self-belief that he is on the right track. He knows the big events lined up this year—the World Championships, for one, which will be a qualifying event for the Paris Games—but wants to take it one step at a time. "I want to carry this confidence, and stay away from over-thinking," he said.

It is a recurring theme in his chats with wife and fellow archer Deepika Kumari. In December last year, Deepika gave birth to a baby girl. Swinging back to shooting arrows soon after, she could not make the Indian team for this year's key events, including the postponed Asian Games, in the same trials in which Das marked his return. Yet, they ensure such setbacks, to either one, does not weigh too heavily on them now. Parenthood has helped unlock fresh perspective.

"Earlier, It was all about archery me, like there was nothing else in life. We spent 10-12 years of our life focussing on just one thing. And if the end result you had dreamed of doesn't come, you feel: yaar, zindagi mein kya hi kiya (what did I do with my life). The personal life, the sacrifices all went to waste. Parenthood helped me find the balance. That archery is just one part of life, which will end one day," Das said. "But till the day I play, I will give it my all. And more importantly, enjoy it."

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