Helicopter parenting is far more prevalent than moms and dads think — it could be hurting our kids, here's why
Don’t think you’re a helicopter parent?
Maybe it's time to think again.
A new Mott Poll Report from University of Michigan Health reveals that parents of children between the ages of 5 and 11 may be hovering over their kids a little more than expected.
The poll, published on Monday by the university, asked a sample of 1,044 parents about their beliefs and actions related to their children's independence.
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Three in four parents overall said they make it a point to let their children do everyday tasks independently.
Among parents with children between 5 and 8 years old, 74% said they allow their kids to be independent when possible.
Children who are allowed independence are more likely to "flourish and develop well-being," according to an educational psychologist. (iStock)
But only 30% or fewer said their children engage in independent activities, such as deciding how to spend allowance or gift money, ordering for themselves at a restaurant or preparing their own food, the poll found.
Parents in this age group admitted that their children's safety is their primary concern when it comes to independence, at 44% — followed by sticking to a family routine (38%) and a belief that the child does not want to be independent in certain cases (34%).
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Thirty-one percent of parents said their children aren't mature enough to do things on their own, while 27% believe the task will take too long.
Another 26% of parents said the task wouldn’t be done in their preferred way.
"Never do for your kids what your kids can do for themselves. That’s reducing their independence."
Meanwhile, 84% of parents with children aged 9 to 11 agreed that kids having free time without adult supervision is beneficial to the young ones.
Fewer parents in this same age group, however, reported that their children actually take on tasks without parental guidance.
Eighty-four percent of parents with children aged 9 to 11 agreed that having free time without adult supervision is beneficial for the kids. (iStock)
Around 58% of parents allow their children to stay home alone for 30 to 60 minutes at a time.
Half of parents allow their kids to find an item while shopping at a store while they are in another aisle.
Forty-four percent of parents allow their children to stay in the car while they run a quick errand — while only 33% allow them to walk or bike to a friend’s house.
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Even fewer parents will let their children play unsupervised at the park with a friend (29%), and a mere 15% let their kids go trick-or-treating with friends.
Fifty-four percent of parents keep a tighter rein on their kids due to the worry that a stranger may scare or follow their child, but only 17% said their neighborhood is not a safe area for children to wander alone.
Half of parents allow their kids to find an item while shopping at a store while the moms or dads are in another aisle. (iStock)
Most parents polled in this age group believe their children are not ready to be independent (32%).
Seventeen percent believe it is against state or local laws for their children to be alone, while 14% worry that someone might call the police.
Another 11% worry they will be considered a "bad parent" for leaving their children unsupervised.
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The poll found that one in four parents have criticized another parent for not appropriately supervising their kids.
More than half of the polled parents (56%) think that unsupervised kids cause trouble.
One-quarter (25%) of these parents have criticized another parent, while 13% have faced criticism.
Fox News Digital reached out to University of Michigan Health for comment.
The University of Michigan Health poll shows most parents are worried about their children's safety. (iStock)
Educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba, who was not involved in the poll, emphasized the rise in this parenting style since the COVID-19 pandemic.
"We're seeing helicoptering, bubble-wrapping, smothering kids because we love them, and we want to protect them from this fear-based, uncertain world," Borba said in a conversation with Fox News Digital.
"But it's not doing them any justice."
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Borba, who is based in Palm Springs, California, encouraged parents to keep in mind that resilience in the face of uncertainty will help mold a child.
Parents should reflect on their day-to-day parenting and ask how often they are doing things that their kids could do for themselves, said the expert.
An expert warned of the long-term implications that helicopter parenting could have on children when they become adults, including high levels of stress due to a lack of coping skills. (iStock)
"I don't care if it's microwaving [food] or making the bed," she said. "Every time you do that, your child learns to rely on you and be more dependent, whether they're 21 or 3."
"Never do for your kids what your kids can do for themselves," she went on.
"That’s reducing their independence."
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For parents looking to build their children’s independence, Borba recommended the "chunking" method, which introduces solo tasks little by little.
"Before you tell them, ‘Hey, ride your bike to school,’ can they ride their bike to the end of the block?" she said.
Moms and dads should plan to "reboot" their parenting style and skills if it seems that their child is too dependent on them, an expert suggested. (iStock)
"It's called chunking a fear or chunking a task, so that you don't push your kid … too far," she said.
"Expectations are always like a rubber band. You stretch them gently, but you don't snap them based on your kid's ability."
Borba warned of the long-term implications that helicopter parenting could have on children when they become adults, including high levels of stress due to a lack of coping skills.
"We’ve got to bond with each other as parents and stop the criticism."
She also reminded parents not to compare themselves to "the neighbor next door," as criticism is a main concern when attempting to build childhood independence.
"We’ve got to bond with each other as parents and stop the criticism," Borba said.
"There's nothing more difficult than parenting, especially now."
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"Do your own thing, use your own instinct," she went on.
"Nobody knows your child better than you do, so don’t judge the parent next door."
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